Learning to speak Republican, Part II: No qualifications or experience? Not a Problem!

Believe it or not, but Congress has actually come to the conclusion in the flap since Hurricane Katrina that it might be better after all to trust “experts” – a concept which is anathema to the G.O.P., by the way – than to continue the Bush-era practice of putting polluters in charge of the environment, fraudulent stock peddlers in charge of the S.E.C., creationists in charge of science, and of course, famously, Michael Brown in charge of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

Way to go, Congress! Turns out this one is your ass after all, and that one’s your elbow! Who would’ve thought you’d figure it out?! And just in time, too!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast.

The president liked the law you wrote; you know, the one that said important people actually have to have real experience in managing the things they are put in charge of? That being someone’s freshman roommate from St. Paul’s is no longer considered adequate job experience when supervising a staff of thousands and a budget of hundreds of millions of dollars?

Well, today the President reminds us that laws are only laws and he’s… well… um… above them.

I mean, he’ll sign it, and he’ll probably enforce it.

He just won’t obey it.

Read it here and weep. Or laugh?

Mr. Hastert Went to Washington (and ought to stay there!)

Dear Denny Hastert,

I love you, Denny. Let me sit next to you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Tickle your elbow, croon to you: "stay, Denny... don't go... don't go... we love you Denny... please, please don't leave."

Why, you may ask, does the GTL love Mr. Tom-DeLay-Lite so much, so suddenly, with so much visceral passion? Why would I want his flaccid face, rotund in the rotunda, looming large for another minute after all he and his party have put the rest of us through?

Why keep this Rovian rottweiller as Speaker of the House a single moment longer?

Here's why.

Don't let those America-hatin' Liberals drag you down, Denny! Without you and your sense of duty and honor, who will protect Republican pedophiles in Congress from the attacks of nubile young page-boys, Democrats, child-welfare advocates, and any other enemy combatants just itchin' for a one-way ticket to Gitmo you might think of over the next few days?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Republican mindset is obsessed with sex, with controlling female sexuality, with demonizing good ole healthy lust, and now, it seems, of excusing underage man-boy love - when it's Republican underage man-boy love.