Election vs. Selection: Democracy Hangs in the Balance

Good morning fellow moderate reactionaries.

All around the country Americans are waking, or will soon, and going to the polls, attempting to vote. The surveys have been unequivocal: whether it's by five points or twenty-five points, the surveys all agree that the nation wants a change, and for the one-party rape of the constitution to come to a halt. For the war to end, the scandals to abate, the earmarks to be scaled back, the poverty and lack of access to health care to wane.

With even the evangelicals seeing the manipulativeness and insincerity of those scaly hypocrites who wooed and screwed them, there is no debate about what the country actually wants. The only question that remains is this:

Will our will be thwarted yet again?

Republicans want to get out their votes and suppress all the rest. Some of them languish in jail as I write due to their sleazy machinations last time around, and courts across the land have dockets full of yet more, creeps who tried to block the constitutional process they claim to love so well.

Who's to say how many non-Republican citizens, registered voters, precinct captains, and other civic leaders (all guilty of the crime of not being fabulously well-to-do and well-connected) will be turned away yet again by Republican traitors manning the polls?

True lovers of democracy want a fair fight more than a partisan victory. But then again, true lovers of democracy tend to think for themselves and avoid the Kool-Aid like the plague.

Anyway, my beloved fellow citizens, get out there and give 'em hell. Remember that the Gun-Toting Liberal loves and respects you. Now go. Winged thought widen thy forehead (guess the reference, win a prize).

Here are some reasons to vote today.

Keep your head high and your powder dry. For more than ever, it's do or die.