Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Don't Panic! It's No Big Deal! People won't care if you disrespect their flag -- will they?!

I swear these guys get funnier and funnier every day.

Judge for yourself here!

Watch out for Right-wing rage. If my training as a student of psychosemiotics and psychohistory tells me anything, it's that they are going to start acting out publicly in some very weird, possibly dangerous, definitely hilarious ways.

One thing is certain, and that's that the sanctimonious pickpockets of the Republican Party, along with their parrot-like dupes among the general populace, are not going to go lightly. Get ready to see some surprises. Their waning sanity and shattered credibility will only make them more unpredictable. It won't cause them to hesitate and examine their judgment for a moment.

Most animal experts will tell you that wild animals will generally leave you alone if you leave them alone; no such luck with these enraged brutes! Their fight-or-flight hormones are constantly blasting, pumping away on full throttle. Remember: the greater their paranoia and fear, the smaller the likelihood that the thug in front of you is preparing to flee.

As the GTL says from time to time, keep your powder dry.

* * * * * * * * *

Remember how today's House and Senate Republicans - so-called "conservatives" who signed a contract with America promising to not loot the treasury six ways from Wednesday, then immediately set about doing it anyway -- plotted to destroy the fairly-elected president, Bill Clinton, from the very moment of his election?

They got louder, stronger. Took the House and Senate, vowing to "change the tone" in Washington. Well, they did do that. They made it a hundred times worse. That's a change, technically.

The first item of business was nothing less than to force the most radical of upheavals possible - an impeachment trial - on that thin, lame, watery, pumped up, trumped up charge we remember so well: that the president lied under oath -- about a private, consentual sexual affair having nothing whatsoever to do with the president's executive actions or protecting and defending the constitution.

The president is having an affair! He doesn't want to get caught!

NOW'S OUR CHANCE!

It's easy to look at these people now and ask what were we thinking. The Speaker of the House protects child molesters and Republicans everywhere, especially the "Christian" ones, perp-walking to the tunes of corruption, spousal abuse, and other funny little unmentionable tics of behavior (like having a three-year sexual relationship with a male prostitute who sells you crystal meth) in between weekly prayer calls with George Bush. I know, it's laughable, but these people used to be seen as moral leaders, as having some sort of messianic authority.

They thought so. They hoped that, with some luck and friends with money in the media, with the bible-thumpers as pack animals, carrying most of their water, they could pull it off. They would destroy this man's presidency and his party.

The word PATRIOT coming from these people's mouths meant nothing then and even less than nothing now. They don't have the faintest idea how important dissent and dialog are to democracy. They couldn't explain the bill of rights, let alone defend it as good citizens are compelled to do. They smear judges who disagree with their religion as "activists" and threaten them with murder. Real good Americans, huh?

You simply can't be a patriot and destroy the constitution simultaneously.

These people are not patriots. They are nationalists. Exactly like all nationalists everywhere, in every era, in every land. Nothing more, nothing less.

I started out this post thinking about flags. The world's first flags were the placentas of the Pharaohs of Egypt, hung on poles to show the world their strength, their fertility, their special favor with the gods. Think of that the next time you sing the National Anthem at a ballgame. In short, flags have been around a long time and haven't changed too much.

So who cares what silly mistake Bush made with their flag as he heads for Vietnam? Those liberal do-gooders are gonna love this one, eh? I mean, these Vietnamese... their flag is nothing like ours, not nearly as serious, as deeply worthy of reverence. Nothing worth dying for, like Ol' Glory!

Go get 'em, Junior!

The whole country is behind you!

2 comments:

exgrad said...

Okay, when was the last time you went to a ballgame?

I have been to many and have never once seen anyone reciting the pledge of allegiance.

However, your point is taken. Our national anthem is indeed sung, and this is still an ode to a flag, so your point holds there.

When you compare the desecration of a foreign flag versus our own, it no longer becomes a contradiction if you don't mind descrating someone else's placenta.

The one thing that's not mentioned when someone states "God Bless America," is that the there is an implied ".... and nobody else."

As Andrei Codrescu once stated, it has to do with the "basic human stupidity that believes that the stink of your own family is better than the stink of your neighbor's"

DW said...

Two items:

1) A thought just occurred to me about the parallels between Bush's Iraq disaster and the war in Vietnam:

Sure, Iraq is the new Vietnam. Everyone says it. Even the president, with his famous lack of curiosity, Attention Deficit Disorder, polysubstance abuse history, shaky grasp of world history and events and all, can see the parallel between the recent escalation of violence in Baghdad and the Tet offensive (not bad for a former drunken, coke-addled C - minus student!). He also is on record, two years ago, in fact, as saying the War on Terror is unwinnable, except for Haliburton, Dick Cheney, and the Carlyle Group.

The major difference between the two wars, however, is this: Bush is excellent at getting out of Vietnam. As an inebriated playboy pilot in the Texas Air National Guard, he fought the Battle of the Bottle and the Invasion of the Texas Hymens - but got out of Vietnam.

Last week he visited, and was also able to get out quickly.

That's the difference between Vietnam and Iraq.

2) Ex-Grad is right, of course, that no one says the Pledge of Allegiance at a baseball game. I was thinking of the National Anthem, which, as we all know, is about a flag that's been shot full of holes, bombs and rockets bursting, various other baroque nonsense (as Kurt Vonnegut would likely describe it) and loving the homeland. Conspicuously absent in this violent theme song is the dismembered limbs and buckets of blood hurtling "thru' the night."